There are days where I feel like I can't take it anymore. My coffee is cold for the umpteen time that day. The house is full of scattered toys. There are four piles of laundry piled up. And another lot in the wash. My hair is a mess. I haven't brushed my teeth. I am wearing the same clothes from two days ago. I can't remember the last time I felt like a normal human being. I am in the post-partum land. I love my baby so much. But I crave to be normal again. How I wish for one moment of feeling like a strong independent woman, to treat myself to a pamper.
You have been having those days when you feel a little worn out and a little beat up and a little weary. You expected a whole day of cleaning the house to wear you down or perhaps a whole day of running errands at work, maybe a family dinner that only happens once a year with all your relatives who have decided to drop by at no notice.
Something else, anything else… but the reason was unexpected. You’re just tired of motherhood.
The frustrations are very real. You’re losing heart and you don’t know what to do. I’m writing to you to let you know that I understand because I was tired too.
I know how it feels being awake in the early hours of the morning. How it feels to lose your own sleep so that your baby can find rest. How it feels to forget to take care of yourself. While I would very much like to gift-wrap a nap and send some babysitters your way, I hope this letter will do.
DON'T GIVE UP.
To you, the weary mama, who left what should have been dinner in the oven for too long or forgot to put the laundry away this morning, don’t give up on trying.
I know you feel like no one ever notices the work you’re doing and you’re pushing yourself to the limits that you didn’t have before. I know you just want to whisk away from the world for a little while. Some days just call for that and it’s okay because every day will not be like this.To you, the weary mama, with the newborn who hasn’t stopped crying and crying since 3AM this morning and no tip seemed to work from all the books on babies you bought before they were even born, don’t give up because your baby will sleep through the night soon.
When layers and layers of concealer still can’t seem to hide the fact that you’ve been up all night, and when you feel like you’re never getting a break, know that performing on a few hours of sleep is a skill you won’t have to rely on for long.
To you, the weary mama, who hasn’t had the chance to look at yourself in the mirror or indulge in a decadent bath since last month, don’t give up on taking care of your body.
When you can’t even find time to do the little things for yourself, doing the big things seem to be out of the picture. You’re having a hard time balancing motherhood and work that it’s easier to take yourself out of the equation. No matter where you are in your self-care journey, you can change and you can decide to refuel yourself today.
To you, the weary mama, who feels guilty of feeling tired all the time, don’t give up on knowing you’re a good mother.
I know you feel guilty when you actually get a moment to yourself. I know that you have been sacrificing for so long and suddenly not doing that every second of every day makes you feel like a bad mother. Hang in there and keep repeating to yourself that you are a good mama because the most important people believe you are - even when you don’t believe it yourself.
Finally, to you, the weary mama, don’t give up on your dreams and hopes because you will have the chance to pursue them.
You and what you do when you give of your heart to your kids. Suddenly their dreams become your dreams and their hopes become your hopes that yours get pushed and pushed deeper into the background; but while it may change over time, don’t lose hope because the time will come when you are going to find yours again, and you’re going to achieve them while being the absolutely amazing mother that you are.
It seems so easy to just quit trying when life pushes you to the edge, and so often we wish we could. The road in front of us feels long and rough, but trust me when I say, you will be glad you persevered.
So, to you, the weary mama who needs a bit of encouragement, in whatever stage of being a mother you might find yourself in and whatever you are facing today, do not give up.
"You are amazing, brave, empowered, and you deserve to be celebrated. You can do today, and I believe in you. Even when it doesn’t make you feel better to read that, it won’t change the fact that it is the honest-to-goodness truth"
Cut yourself some slack, brush off all of the stuff holding you back, and never question the value of what you do… because your little bundles of joy don’t. They just want you - down on your knee or tiptoeing in their room at night and looking them in the eyes and telling them your sweet words of I love you.
I know how it feels. And I am all about keeping it real. Life is hard enough, throw in motherhood to the mix, and you never see life the same way again. I suffered from postnatal depression and anxiety and being creative led me out. Hooked in a Box was launched out of a need for something for me to own and also parted a way for me to give back to other Mums and babies. With each gift box purchased, I donate part of the profits to Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA). There is no guilt or shame. If you ever need to chat or want to have personalised messages in your inbox filled with love, care and understanding, sign up for our newsletter here. Or follow us on Facebook and Instagram to hear from me.